A Day in the Life Coach

People often ask me how what I practice is different from traditional forms of therapy. I can’t pretend to know everything about all forms of therapy, but I did study Psychology, and I do know a lot about NLP, so I can offer an educated opinion that may be helpful in understanding some basic distinctions. I would also like to say up front that both therapy and coaching can be effective paths to self discovery, growth and well being. All forms of therapy and all forms of coaching are not the same. And some therapists and some coaches are better than others.

Psychology has traditionally been concerned with professionals diagnosing and analyzing “problems” that “patients” have. It is assumed that the therapist knows more than the patient about their presenting problem or disease, what needs to change, and how to help the patient to alleviate the undesirable condition.

NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) is rooted in a search for excellence begun by the founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Their focus was more on taking what is and making it better. With this approach, it seems to me that at various times, and in various aspects of our lives, every one of us can benefit from coaching.

Don’t you sometimes feel stuck in some area of life, wanting to change or improve something about yourself, your relationships, your life – and you just can’t seem to be able to make that shift?
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The therapy model of intervention is based upon some external cultural definitions of “normal” and “abnormal” that are meant to apply to society as a whole and by extension to individuals. NLP, on the other hand offers a very different model with some very different pre-suppositions.

As a coach, my job is not to diagnose, judge or direct my clients (not patients). When I first studied NLP with trainer Tad James, he called himself a tour guide, and I’ve always loved that analogy. If people find themselves in one place in their life, and they would rather be somewhere else – I consider myself an expert at showing them the possibilities, and guiding them along the best possible routes to get to where they want to go.

I have no pre-conceived ideas of how my clients need to change. I am there to help you get the results you are happy with. And my goal is to teach you how to read and use the maps and sign posts along the way so that you can learn to navigate successfully on your own, and come back for more coaching when you run into a serious roadblock or find yourself a little lost on your journey.

Who needs Life Coaching? This is a good question. Have you ever really, really wanted to improve something about your life, your performance, your health, your relationships… are you getting the idea?

The answer is that everyone who wants to get better, happier, more effective in any or all areas of their life can benefit from hiring a well trained, experienced Certified Life Coach. Why? Because perspective is everything. And sometimes we need help shifting ours, and/or expanding it to include new ways of seeing, hearing, feeling and knowing in our lives.

Our past experiences color our current experiences, paving the way for our future to be a continuation of patterns we have learned and internalized. This is a very unconscious process. We form beliefs along the way – beliefs about everything, such as how things are, what things mean, how relationships work, who we are, and what is possible for us. And these beliefs are very influential in the way we experience what we think is reality.

So beliefs are great, aren’t they? Because you always get to be right! If you believe for example that bosses are never fair, your unconscious filtering system will be more open to gathering evidence that supports this belief. You will be ready to experience this unfairness, so your energy will reflect this. You may even be acting as if you have already been treated badly, missing all the cues for positive interaction, and then when you get passed over for a promotion, you say: “You see, I told you bosses are never fair!”
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If, on the other hand, you have a strong belief that anything is possible, and that belief drives you to focus on noticing opportunities, and making the most out of situations – how do you think that belief will play out as you gather more and more evidence to support it? That’s right, more and more will become possible for you.

During my very first NLP Practitioner Training in 1993, we learned that there were several basic presuppositions of NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) that we needed to understand. Truthfully, I didn’t know if I believed that anything was possible, but I was willing to try it on and see… After a few days, everyone in the course decided we wanted to keep that belief because believing everything is possible seemed to make more stuff possible, and more importantly, it just felt so much better!

Coaching is all about learning strategies to positively expand your perspectives, and create a happier, healthier, more energized and more successful life. Sound like a good idea?